


Of heartbreaks and goodbyes

by WritingforTheAvengers



Category: Avengers, Captain America, Falcon - Fandom, MCU, Sam Wilson - Fandom, Steve Rogers - Fandom, The Avengers, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Mentions of Death, Multi, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 08:38:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11710794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingforTheAvengers/pseuds/WritingforTheAvengers
Summary: Alice’s story with Captain America didn’t end in the best way possible, all thanks to her powers that most of the time seem like a burden. When Sam Wilson enters her life, the world seemed to light up. Unfortunately, a mission goes south and she is not prepared for what happens next.





	Of heartbreaks and goodbyes

**New York City, a year ago.**

It was getting pretty late, and neither Alice nor her boyfriend waited for someone. Sam Wilson, Alice’s boyfriend was fast asleep from a few hours ago; the avenging life was exhausting and there was no one in the world that could understand him as she did. The two met in strange circumstances, rather unlikely to happen, but life has its mysterious ways of getting people together, and so it happened with Alice and the Falcon.

Washington D. C. once held SHIELD’s headquarters and the agency was what Alice knew for a life for more time than she could remember and by then, she could barely remember the circumstances of her addition to the super-secret almost spy-like agency, but since then, her life and world gave a 180° turn. There she met the people she would later consider friends and family, and what it seemed to be the love of her life.

The always righteous Steve Rogers fell in love with her noble and pure heart, and Alice fell in love with the man behind the legend. But deep inside him, there was no way of hiding the fear for what she was able to do. Alice was one of the first modified people that were under SHIELD’s radar that actually worked for them and not against. Her telepathy and telekinesis was under control and she did everything at reach to keep it that way. Hell, she was extremely conscious of what she could do if pushed an inch too far away.

Everything in the SHIELD’s sweethearts lives was milk and honey until the moment of the sudden goodbye. Steve never said why and Alice tried to never look back at something that was definitely over and with no chance of coming back. Avoiding Steve at work was one hell of a task, but she managed to keep her promise and her heart in a healthy way. Soon enough, she decided to quit everything that could remind her of him, she didn’t need him in her life anymore, and she had saved some good cash to live without having another job again.

And when Sam appeared in the picture, her word gave another turn. A good one, a great one. She could finally be herself with a man with issues of his own. A man that loved her even though the danger he was stepping into. Sam Wilson loved her, adored her, cherished her, and once again, she decided to surrender at feeling loved and to love back. She wasn’t the kind of girl that would say no to adventure.

Alice’s TV watching was interrupted by some knocks on the front door. She heavily sighed but opened it anyway.

“What an unpleasant surprise,” she said flatly. “You again, Rogers?”

“I just need a minute,” he hurried to add, “Please, Alice”

“No,” Alice’s head shook and her brunette hair moved along. “You have no right to ask for a minute when you didn’t even give me one to try to convince you to stay with me and you didn’t even help me out that day” she tried to close the door but Steve’s hand was faster and stopped it. “Steve get the hell out of my house”

“Or what?” He cocked one of his blonde eyebrows. “You’re gonna make this house explode and shit?” His voice was raising in volume, and she felt ready for a fight. “Because I’m sure you don’t want to lose another house; SHIELD doesn’t have that much money.”

“SHIELD is fucking dead anyway, Rogers,” she replied, her breath increasing its pace. Alice gulped and took a deep breath before speaking again. “Last warning, get the fuck out”

“Alice?” Sam’s sleepy voice sounded form behind them. His pajama pants hung on his hips and his bare feet slapped against the hardwood floor. “Steve?” he narrowed his eyes to get a better look at the blonde, Dorito-shaped soldier. “Man, it’s super late, what are you even doing here? And why are you yelling like a fucking maniac, do I have to remind you what time is it?”

“Sam, honey… Go to bed, ok?” Alice tried to sooth the veteran who was now too awake to ignore the scene. “Steve is already leaving”

“No, this is going to be fun to be a part of,” Steve entered the house pushing Alice to the side and slamming the wooden door behind him. “What are you doing here Sam?”

“I live here?” the dark-skin man replied in a puzzled voice. “This is our house, and why on earth are you yelling?” Sam yawned. “Dude I had an exhausting day and you were there to tell”

“Another avenger, Alice?” Steve folded his wide arms over his chest and smiled ironically. “Real classy”

“Don’t kid yourself Rogers,” she followed in suit, “you’re not as important as you think”

“I’m sure I’m missing something here, any hints?” Sam’s finger quickly moved from pointing Alice and then Steve.

“Oh, didn’t she tell you?” A huge grin grew on Captain America’s lips. “We were together,” the words came out poisoned; Steve was drunk, either way he wouldn’t be making such a pathetic scene. He had nothing to lose now; he lost her.

“Yes, until this scumbag over here dumped me for no reason whatsoever and abandoned me two seconds after, and now his sorry ass wants to talk it over,” Alice rolled her honey colored eyes. “Real classy,” she said with a smirk. “Steve, you’re making a fool of yourself, just leave”

“Did she also forget to tell you that she tore our place down when we broke up?” Steve carried on, at this point nothing mattered. “Did she tell you she is fucking dangerous and that she could raise hell anytime?”

“Whoa there Steve,” Sam turned his head, “you are not going to talk about her like that,” Sam’s voice was firm, “get the hell out man,” Sam pointed at the door with his thumb, “or I swear to god I’ll make you leave,”

“Have it your way,” Steve raised his hands in defeat, “but then don’t come to me physically hurt because she went fucking nuts and destroyed this or any other place. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya,’”

“I had enough of you,” Sam grabbed Steve’s collar and without hesitating, his fist landed on the super soldier’s jaw. “Now get the fuck out,” Sam’s word were harsh, and it even made Alice step back. Two minutes ago she was ready to make Steve leave by force, but now, the loudness and demanding voice of her boyfriend sent shivers down her spine that were not exactly pleasant.

She never told Sam anything because she knew he would think she was with him just to forget about Steve, and that was far from being true. Alice adored Sam for a number or reasons that didn’t include him being a petty fuck. After getting punched, Steve left with his pride broken and a stinging jaw. Sam turned around.

“Come to bed, is kinda late,” a soft smile spread on his lips and he leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “I don’t care what happened between you and him, I really don’t. I just hope you’re not with me to forget about him.” he sighed tiredly.

“I’d never do that, Sammy,” Alice cupped his face in her hands and leaned forward to gently lock her lips against his. “What I had with Steve is buried, burned and forgotten. I’m with you because I do love you,”

**New York City, present day.**

Alice had just gotten out of the shower after an awfully long day. SHIELD might have found its doom after agent Romanoff revealed every secret about both the intelligence agency and HYDRA, but former director Fury still had work for the people he trusted in. She was one of them. Sam had gone on a mission of his own with the Avengers, while she had been putting some intel together to make a report that would be sent later to Fury.

Her gut instinct warned that there was something wrong, and as she slid her oversized shirt over her torso, the doorbell rang. ‘Who’s that?’ she thought to herself as she gave a little jump to put on a pair of shorts. She was still fit, but she didn’t train as hard anymore; her work was on an if-needed basis, not actively as it used to be.

Twisting the knob, a familiar figure stood in front of her. The always handsome Steve Rogers was on the other side of the doorframe and she couldn’t help to sigh heavily. The story of the two was rocky to say the least, and their last encounter was far from being friendly. Alice crossed her arms over her chest and cocked an eyebrow as a way of saying hi.

“Allie… May I come in?”

“Someone following you?” She replied dryly, feeling how the nick name he used to call her triggered the worst of thoughts and memories. The blonde soldier shook his head. “Where’s Sam? Why are you here and not him?”

“Alice, may I come in?” Steve asked again with a heavy and tired voice. Alice had no other option but to step aside and let him in; he was using her name after all. The soldier’s steps pounded in her head until he let his body fall onto the cushions of the sofa.

“I never said you could sit down,” she rolled her bright eyes. “Now answer me. Where is Sam,” she said each word very carefully.

“Remember we were on a mission?” Alice nodded. “Well, we had these guys, we truly did… The mission wasn’t hard, or that’s what the record told us,” Steve rubbed his temples and tried to hide his face.

“Never trust records," Alice replied, “Fury always says that”

“Things went to shit and unfortunately Sam took the biggest hit,” Steve let his head hung forward for a minute before looking up to the now cold eyes of the woman he still loved. “He’s in a coma.”

Alice’s eyes widened. She knew Steve wasn’t lying because he was never good at it. His words repeated over and over in her head and just the thought of Sam being bound to a bed, with IVs and machines around him made her sick. The tears pooled in her eyelids and they were unstoppable; Sam was not an ordinary boyfriend to her, he was the reason she smiled again.

“Allie…” Steve whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder. Even though being the one who broke up with her, she still was the love of his life. Maybe letting her go was not the right choice. She was with another man now, and being together was not an option, not anymore. Testing his luck, Steve tried to hug her, but she backed away immediately.

“Don’t you dare, Rogers,” she hissed, pushing him away. “This is not a moment of weakness” Alice looked up; and the thought of Sam was replaced with the memories of the day the SHIELD sweethearts broke up.

**Washington D. C., four years ago.**

“We need to talk,” Steve said harshly. He never used that voice unless he was scolding an agent or sometimes her.

“What is it baby?” Alice asked in a high pitched voice. Her smile faded from her lips when she saw her hard expression. “Is everything alright?”

“No,” he replied coldly. “Nothing is alright. We can’t be together anymore,”

“What?” Her brows knitted together trying to sink in the words. “You–you want to break up with me?” She asked. A hysterical laugh escaped from her, but it also faded and turned into tears when Steve’s expression didn’t softened or showed any sign of joke. “W–why on earth…?” Her question was left unfinished the minute her heart started to beat fast, and a buzzing sound on her ears kept the soldier’s words away. She took both hands to the sides of her head and grabbed it tightly. Her eyes shut tight. “Calm down, Alice. Calm down,” she repeated to herself in a barely audible whisper, but it was useless. She saw it coming, and most importantly, so did Steve.

The living room started to shake, and Steve looked around himself in terror. He knew what she was capable of; he had seen it in her missions. She was extremely powerful and for that, she could be extremely dangerous. Out of a sudden, everything crashed. The windows smashed as if someone threw a rock at them, the glass and plates inside the cabinets exploded as a loud scream joined the crashing noise.

Steve still had the protective instinct towards her, so he held her body tightly to receive every little bit of whatever was coming to them; plates, glasses or the windows. When everything stopped, he let go of her without saying a word. For Alice, not only her house was destroyed, but also her heart was tore into a million pieces and her world seemed to stop. She fell on her knees, exhausted, and what was even worse, she was terrified of what she could do for the very first time.

**New York City, present day. Again.**

Steve drove to the facilities in silence. Alice rested her head on the window of the ridiculously big car. The music did nothing but to make the silence between them even more awkward. She closed her eyes and drifted away, to other time, to better times.

The soldier looked at her every once, but whenever she felt observed, a harsh “keep your eyes on the road” made him turn his head again. They arrived to the facilities in a hurry, a lot had changed since SHIELD disappeared.

“Why him?” Steve asked finally. They were heading to the infirmary quickly, but he stopped before the doors. “Why Sam?”

“Excuse me?” Alice asked from over her shoulder, frowning in confusion. “As far as I’m concerned, that is none of your business,”

“Sam is my friend,” he pointed out as a matter of factly. “Why him?”

“You wanna know why?” She said, turning around. Steve nodded impatiently. “Because Sam actually loves me just the way I am; with the powers I didn’t ask for and the danger they imply. He is not afraid of what I’m capable of,” Alice stopped for two seconds to think of the thing that would hurt him the most. “You really wanna know what I love the most about Sammy?” She asked in a softer voice, placing her pale and powerful hands on her hips. “That he’s not a fucking coward,” she spat the poisonous words, making Steve’s Adam’s apple bob.

“I loved you…” Steve whispered; her words had fulfilled her expectations; she wanted to see him weak, and now he was.

“Oh right, and you made it fucking clear when you dumped me, fella,” she let out an ironic chuckle and shrugged, raising her hands up to her chest. “I wouldn’t have known that,”

“Give me a fucking break!” Steve yelled. “You don’t know how it feels like to live with the fear of you turning things to shit, the same way you did to our house,”

“Oh, going at it again?” she spat. “I hate to break it down to you, but you came to my house saying the exact same bullshit,” her voice was harsh and filled with anger. She never had the chance to let everything out, and now she was able to do it under dreadful circumstances. Thinking about how much time she was losing with this only got the worst of her. “And just to get things straight I do know what it feels like, because believe it or not, I live with the same fear every fucking day,” Steve’s eyes widened and his Adam’s apple bobbed again as he gulped down a heavy lump of guilt. “Oh, you thought that being a walking freak show was a piece of cake? Oh no pretty boy. My biggest fear is to tear down shit, and most importantly, shit I care about,”

“Then why did you do that?” Steve asked after a long pause; he was having a hard time sinking in the words after so many years of seeing her going mad. “Why would you destroy the beautiful life we had?”

“What? I destroyed the beautiful life we had? You fucking kidding me Rogers? And you seriously think I wanted to turn everything into bits?” A chuckle slipped from Alice’s thin lips; their corners curled up into a slight smile. “Besides, it wasn’t me who broke someone’s heart, right? Steven Grant Rogers, you have got to be fucking kidding me. You saw me trying to calm down!–You know what?” She shook her head. “I have no more things to discuss with you, Steve,”

“Do you even love him?” Steve asked at last; he feared whatever answer Alice would give. If the answer was a yes, this love would never be reciprocated. She was filled with sorrow and the will of moving on with her life with someone who was a hundred times better than him, Steve knew that. But the fear was even bigger if the answer was a no. She had all the right to not love him anymore; he was a dick and the hugest of them all, but he kept the hope of making things up for her, for the love of his life.

“I do… God knows I do,” her lips curled into a smile again. “You know… Sam didn’t even knew we were together until the day you appeared by our place. He even doubted if I truly loved him, but I can’t imagine my life without him…” Alice’s voice was now soft and cracked, the thought of losing Sam was unbearable and each second she spent trying to make Steve understand was wasted. “If you wanna play victim and go around talking shit about me and the one day I went crazy and crushed everything we once built, and how now I’m fucking your best friend, that’s up to you,” Alice pointed at him; her voice was filled with defeat. She didn’t want to fight anymore; not with him, not with anybody else, “in the meantime, I,” she pointed at herself now, “am going to see my boyfriend, who if you don’t remember, is in a fucking coma,”

Alice turned on her heels and crossed the gates that lead to the infirmary. For the first time in years, she had left Steve behind and he was not a part of her thoughts anymore. Her feelings for Sam were completely real, but the ghost of unfinished business with Steve always haunted her… That until today. The doctors working there were old SHIELD friends, so they took her to the especial room they were keeping Sam.

The instant she saw him unconscious on the bed and surrounded with different machines and medical equipment, her breath got caught on her throat. He looked so peaceful, even with the constant sound of the heart rate monitor next to him. The doctor that went with Alice said something, but she couldn’t place it in her memory, neither on her ears. She was numbed by the fear of losing the only good thing in life she had.

“Is he going to make it?” Alice asked, trying to cut the doctor off.

“If I’m honest, we don’t know,” the doctor sighed, “he got here pretty bad; broken bones, a blood loss I haven’t seen since the SHIELD days… I don’t know how he even made it here,” the soothing words were nothing compared to what he was really thinking. Alice shut her eyes to push his voice away from her head. She rather hearing false comforting words than to accept the inevitability of Sam’s situation.

“He’s a tough guy, aren’t you Sammy?” Alice said in a whisper, and after a long pause she spoke again. “May I have a moment with him?”

“Sure, Alice,” the doctor squeezed her shoulder lightly and left in silence. Unfortunately, his mind was screaming.

The room was big enough to wander a little. The constant beeping was a somehow relief for her, Sam was still alive for now; she kneeled next to him and held the cold hand of the Falcon. Tears blurred her vision as a loud sob escaped from her lungs. In the many years of working for SHIELD, there was never a time like this. There was never a person she cared for like she cared for Sam. Not even Steve.

“Sammy, honey, please come back to me,” Alice pressed her forehead to the back of the hand she held and the tears ran down her face, wetting her cheeks, neck and collar as they went on. Her powers were filling every inch of her body but this time everything felt different. “Please, please come back,” she repeated the words in her head as if it was a wish. She longed for it to come true. “Talk to me, Sammy… Come on,” she reached out for him on another plane of communication.

_Nothing._

Alice found herself in an empty white room, as if she was floating; there was no way of telling where the floor started and the walls ended or vice versa. There were no windows, no doors, not even lights. It was an empty space more like a cage if she thought about it. And the noise, it was that same noise when TV is not working; that buzz, that god forgotten buzz that got all the way to her core. She tried to scream for help, for him, for whatever thing that could possibly be wandering around the Falcon’s mind. But there was no one there to answer her. Any sound she made drowned and died in the buzzing.

“No…” she muttered when she was able to get out of the cage. Sam was as immobile as she left him two seconds ago. “Sam, no you can’t be…” Alice looked up at the heart-rate monitor. It was still beeping.


End file.
